To be truly random, one must understand that the rules of pudding no longer apply to the King of France. If he ever broke his own leg to get a vat of Lard shipped to Sweden, then the world would crack in half like a Swiss Chocolate cake that's on fire.
If such an event should occur, the Lord Zalbrakonk would rain down robot pirate ninjas from the bear infested netherlands of Pluto and Neptune, waging war with the Pigmy Overlord of Guantanimo Bay.
It think my point has been Salad.